Chics and Salsa


Gosh, I love this soup.  I used to make this all the time before I began to get sick.  This is actually the first time I make it in five years.  It's rich and creamy, and nothing makes my heart melt with fat covered happiness more than this on a cold day.  

Now, this isn't the healthiest soup ever made.  It has heavy cream, bacon, and Italian sausage, but this is my definition of comfort food.  I made it as part of my food prep this Sunday.  I save it in small portions and freeze most of it in tiny mason jars for days when I come home so tired that a sandwich and a reheated jar of soup are the only alternative.  

I love to freeze my food.  It keeps me from having to cook all the time (and greatly reduces the chances of me burning food).  

I made some small changes to this recipe.  I add the whole bunch of kale that I bought and used real bacon instead of bacon bits, a whole package to be precise.  Enjoy!




**For a low FODMAP alternative, simply omit the onions and garlic, like I do.  I promise it will still taste great, but, as we all know, everything is infinitely more delicious with loads of onions and garlic.**


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For twenty-four years of my life, I have hated avocados with a type of fiery passion that can only be defined as the crazies.  People are always so incredulous.  How can you hate them?  Well, I'm sorry...I had no idea I was speaking with the president of avocados...

Because my diet is so restricted, I girded my loins and started to eat avocados.  This recipe works for me, a notorious avocado hater.  The key here is the crazy amounts of lemon.  I make a lot of this and package it in a mason jar.  It will keep for a whole week without getting black or going bad.  I use this as a side or garnish to all my non-sweet foods.



Linking to:
Not Just a Housewife
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Are you tired of people coming to your house and telling you your egg-cooking-skills are downright abysmal?  Well, look no further friends, I have the perfect way to redeem your street cred:  faux poached eggs.  Now, these aren't your typical poached eggs.  Those require skill and patience to master.  Ain't nobody got time for that.  These are simple.  Anyone can do it.  Seriously.  Anyone...well, kind of.

They look just like the real deal, and taste like boiled eggs and fried eggs had a baby.  Here's how:


Place a piece of saran wrap over a small container.  The container has to be big enough to hold a broken egg.


Push in the saran wrap so that when you break the egg into the container, it will be nested safely.


Add your egg.


Twist the top of the saran wrap.  Fold over the top and impale it with a kabob stick.


Place the kabob stick over a boiling water bath.  Do not worry.  The plastic will not melt.  The egg should be done between 3-5 minutes, depending on how cooked you want it.  To remove the egg from the plastic, simply rub a butter knife gently between the egg and the plastic.  It should pop out easily if the egg is fully cooked.  Enjoy!

Linking to:
Young House Love 
Momnivore's Dilemma 
House of Hepworths
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 Oh. My. Gosh.  I had always wanted to make a cake like this.  Even time I saw this, I just died of jealousy because no matter how delicious my cakes were, lace collars make them look 100X better.  Mine looked like the ugly stepsister in comparison, so I finally bit the bullet.  You know what??  It was incredibly easy, so easy, in fact, that I may do a tutorial on it, and then we can all make our cakes look incredibly fancy for pennies.

Linking to:
Simply Sweets by Honey Bee
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Last week I started experimenting by adding foods back into my diet that I had been restricted from.  I will spare you the results of these experiments, but please know that this is NOT a low FODMAP meal. 

With that said, this is probably the meal I miss the most of anything that I have had to cut out of my diet.  I love this salad.  My sisterfromanothermother Stephanie first introduced me to it.  Her stay-at-home dad would make it for her all the time.  Once I tasted this, I ate this every day for about two months before I got sick.  True story.

I would eat it alone or with a side or steak, fish, turkey...you name it, this will go well with it.  If you are having a busy week, make a lot of it and simply throw some slices of ham or turkey on top for a super healthy and delicious meal.
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On weeks when I have tons of tests, papers, and, well, basically responsibilities that I can't put off, I always make food in bulk that I then freeze in single servings in small mason jars to be eaten in a pinch.

One of my favorite soups to prepare in advance for cheap (hey, I am a college student after all) is lentil soup.  It is easy, healthy, delicious, and basically fool proof.  For this version, I added egg, but you could add bacon, beef, or chicken.  It is such a versatile soup that it pairs well with anything, including a grilled cheese sandwich.






Lentils
Ingredients:
1 bag lentils, thoroughly wash and drained           
1 small clove of garlic, chopped
1 tablespoon of olive oil
1 egg
Salt
2 large tomatoes, chopped
1 small onion, chopped
Chopped green onion
Chicken Bouillon


Directions:
1. In a large pot, add the lentils with enough water to cover liberally.  Remember that as the lentils cook, they will expand, so you will need to add enough water to compensate or keep a watchful eye on them.
2. In a separate pan, fry the clove of garlic, onion, and tomato in the tablespoon of olive oil.  If you are new to frying, first heat up the oil, then add the garlic and onion.  Once the onion is semi-transparent, add the tomatoes.  Remove from heat once the tomatoes start to turn mushy or look integrated in the mixture.
3. Add the vegetable mixture to the lentils once the lentils are soft to taste.  This should take anywhere between 30-60 minutes.
4. Add the chicken bouillon and salt to taste.
5. Serve the lentil soup with a fried egg and chopped green onion garnish or freeze for a later time.



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For Thanksgiving, I was given the task of bringing dessert since, you know, that's what I do best.  Nobody can get food poisoning from a cake....I think...Anyway, this year the requested flavor was carrot.  I have to say, this cake is incredibly dense so it may not be for everyone, but I loved it.  The cheesecake frosting was a little soft for piping, but everyone loved it.  I made sure to put on a minimal coating of icing because everyone usually takes it off since I put heaps of it, but everyone complained that there was not enough icing.


 The icing was not perfect.  Let me explain.  What happened was this....I was dancing with a spoon to a tribal song (true story) from a commercial with a wooden spoon.  The wooden spoon went flying SMACK onto the cake....but my dancing was pretty epic if I do say so myself....





HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!


CARROT CAKE
Ingredients:
3 eggs
3/4 cup buttermilk
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 1/2 cups white sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 cups shredded carrots
1 cup flaked coconut
1 cup chopped walnuts
1 (8 ounce) can crushed pineapple with
juice
1 cup raisins
Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour an 8x12 inch pan.
2. In a medium bowl, sift together flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon. Set aside.
3. In a large bowl, combine eggs, buttermilk, oil, sugar and vanilla. Mix well. Add flour mixture and mix well.
4. In a medium bowl, combine shredded carrots, coconut, walnuts, pineapple and raisins.
5. Using a large wooden spoon or a very heavy whisk, add carrot mixture to batter and fold in well.
6. Pour into prepared 8x12 inch pan, and bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 1 hour. Check with toothpick.



 CREAM CHEESE FROSTING
Ingredients: 
2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese,
softened
1/2 cup butter, softened
2 cups sifted confectioners' sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Directions:
1. In a medium bowl, cream together the cream cheese and butter until creamy. Mix in the vanilla, then gradually stir in the confectioners' sugar. Store in the refrigerator after use.

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Some days, you just need to come home to a giant bottle of tequila margarita.  Given that I don't really drink, this has become my latest obsession. My sister enjoys hers with sugar and soy milk, and I am sure traditionalists will scoff at the recipe, but I happen to love it prepared this way.  It is fast and delicious.



Directions:

1.  Pour some hot water on a bag of Chai tea of your choice.
2.  Add French vanilla coffee creamer.
3.  Add 1-2 teaspoons of honey. 
4.  Stir and enjoy!!
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Ingredients

1 cup margarine or 1 cup butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 cups Quicker Quaker Oats or 3 cups Old-Fashioned Quaker oats, uncooked
1 cup raisins

Directions

1.  Heat oven to 350°F.
2.  Beat together margarine and sugars until creamy.
3.  Add eggs and vanilla; beat well.
4.  Add combined flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt; mix well.
5.  Stir in oats and raisins; mix well.
6.  Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheet.
7.  Bake 10 to 12 minutes or until golden brown.
8.  Cool 1 minute on cookie sheet; remove to wire rack.
9.  Makes about 4 dozen.
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This is what heaven must taste like.  Be warned, it is incredibly sweet, which is why I topped it with some fruit.  Enjoy!!


Directions
  1. Preheat an oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Prepare a 9x13 inch baking dish with cooking spray.
  2. Beat the cream cheese with 1 cup of sugar and the vanilla extract in a bowl until smooth.
  3. Unroll the cans of crescent roll dough, and use a rolling pin to shape each piece into 9x13 inch rectangles. Press one piece into the bottom of a 9x13 inch baking dish. Evenly spread the cream cheese mixture into the baking dish, then cover with the remaining piece of crescent dough. Stir together 3/4 cup of sugar, cinnamon, and butter. Dot the mixture over the top of the cheesecake.
  4. Bake in the preheated oven until the crescent dough has puffed and turned golden brown, about 30 minutes. Remove from the oven and drizzle with honey. Cool completely in the pan before cutting into 12 squares.


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 Step 1:  Find yourself a grill.  Leave the boyfriend there with mesquite wood, lighter fluid, and a lighter.  Go and make rice, which you will ruin because you were watching a movie and forgot the lid on too long, creating a pasty, bland mess.


Step 2:   Come back to the grill.  Apologize in advance for the terrible rice.  Observe that the wood has miraculously turned into glowing, white-red embers in your absence.  When the guests waiting inside the house ask you how the grill is doing, speak with confidence as if you are responsible for the success of said fire.


 Step Three:  Rub generous amounts of salt and pepper on rinsed and dried pieces of steak.  Throw these directly on the embers.  Hug your grill master and assure him he has your utmost confidence all the while telling the party guests that you are certain the black steak coming out will go perfectly with the rice mush in the kitchen.



Step Four:  Have someone manly remove the steak from the embers for you.  Slice them up and serve them with anything but the ruined rice.  Enjoy!




I'll be honest.  I will never order steak when I go to a restaurant.  Honestly, it's tough, bland, and expensive.  Even when I have been to restaurants where this is their specialty, I have just never been blown away.  The oh-yes-it's-super-delicious smile and mmhmm usually follows when someone asks me to taste the-best-steak-they-have-ever-had because you really do not want to be the jerk that pees on somebody's rainbow when they are really enjoying their food.  I just don't see what the big deal is.  

This steak is the exception.  Oh my goodness, IT WAS SO GOOD.  A+ all the way! ...and a big thanks to the boyfriend for being such a skilled foodie.  You really must try this!!
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I fully planned on having a wonderful nutella chocolate cake recipe for you guys today.  This Sunday was designated as my cake baking day.  I chose a theme and meticulously cut out a picture, whose theme will be kept a secret for a future post.  I should have known not to use a cake recipe that I was not familiar with.  This is the beautiful creation I have for you today.



So, what do you do when you cake looks like someone stepped on it but tastes like heaven?  Why, put it in mason jars of course!!  Everyone knows mason jars make everything look cuter.  

If anyone asks, yes, this was the way I wanted it from the very beginning.  The cake is in individual portions and is in travel containers I can just grab in the mornings to accompany my very boring healthy meals.


Much better.  By the way, it refrigerates very well.  No recipe will be posted today since it was such a calamity, but I will try again with a different recipe some time this week.
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I hope everyone is having a lovely Labor day weekend!!

On Saturday, my sister asked me if I could make her a cake that she could take to school and share with her coworkers, so I decided to make my personal favorite red velvet cheesecake.  It has one layer of cheesecake sandwiched between two layers of red velvet cake covered in cheese cake frosting.  YUUMMMMMM!

Be warned that if you do not make sure to lock your electric mixer, it could just pop open and spray the whole kitchen with cheesecake frosting.  Instead of running for the mop, I ran for my camera and got back to this.


It doesn't make me a bad pet owner does it?  Nevermind.  Do not answer that.

Oh and if you look closely, you can see frosting on my poor Maya's face. 



I was also covered in frosting.  In fact, there was so much in my hair that I looked a little like this:


Without further ado, here's the cake:






Sorry guys, I did not take a picture of the sliced cake.  It is all gone now, so there's no going back.  You are just going to have to take my word for it.  It is amazing!!

For the Cheesecake:
32 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
1¼ cups granulated sugar
4 eggs, at room temperature
¾ cup heavy cream
1 tablespoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Butter a 9-inch springform pan and then tightly wrap the outside with heavy duty foil. (I find that double-wrapping helps prevent leaks in a water bath.) Put a pot of water (or a tea kettle) on to boil.  Using an electric mixer, beat together the cream cheese and sugar at medium speed until completely smooth, about 3 minutes. Add the eggs one at a time, beating for a minute or so after each addition, and scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed. Add the heavy cream and vanilla extract, and beat until completely incorporated.  Pour the batter into the springform pan; place the springform pan into a larger pan, such as a roasting pan, and pour the boiling water into the larger pan until the water comes about halfway up the side of the springform pan.  Bake until the cheesecake edges are set but the middle still jiggles a bit, about 45 to 55 minutes. Turn the oven off, but leave the cheesecake in the oven with the door closed for 1 hour. At this point, remove the cheesecake from the water bath and place the springform pan on a cooling rack to cool to room temperature. Place the cheesecake in the refrigerator until well-chilled, at least 4 hours or overnight.

For the Cake:
3 1/3 cups cake flour (not self-rising)
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
2 1/4 cups sugar
3 large eggs, at room temperature
6 tablespoons red food coloring
3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 1/2 cups buttermilk
1 1/2 teaspoons cider vinegar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
Creamy Vanilla Frosting (recipe follows)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease and lightly flour two 9 x 2-inch round cake pans, then line the bottoms with waxed paper.  In a small bowl, sift the cake flour and set aside. In a large bowl, on the medium speed of an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugar until very light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.  In a small bowl, whisk together the red food coloring, cocoa, and vanilla. Add to the batter and beat well.  In a measuring cup, stir the salt into the buttermilk. Add to the batter in three parts, alternating with the flour. With each addition, beat until the ingredients are incorporated, but do not overheat.  In a small bowl, stir together the cider vinegar and baking soda. Add to the batter and mix well. Using a rubber spatula, scrape down the batter in the bowl, making sure the ingredients are well blended and the batter is smooth.  Divide the batter among the prepared pans. Bake for 30-40 minutes, or until a cake tester inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean. Let the layers cool in the pans for 1 hour. Remove from the pans and cool completely on a wire rack.


Click here to view: http://www.recipelink.com/cgi/msgbrd/msg_script.pl?getmsg=1&board=21&thread=5888

For the Cream Cheese Frosting:
1 cup butter, at room temperature
8 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
5 cups powdered sugar
2 tablespoons vanilla extract

Using an electric mixer with the whisk attachment, whip the butter and cream cheese on high speed for about 5 minutes, scraping down the bowl as necessary. Reduce the speed to low and slowly add the powdered sugar until all is incorporated. Add the vanilla and mix to combine. Increase the speed to medium-high and whip for a few minutes until the frosting is light and fluffy, scraping the bowl as necessary.


Level the tops of the red velvet cake layers with a serrated knife or cake leveler so that the tops are level and not domed. Place one layer of the red velvet cake on your serving plate. Spread a very thin layer of the cream cheese frosting over it. Top that with the cheesecake, and again top with a very thin layer of frosting. Add the second red velvet layer.  Using the remaining frosting, cover the cake in frosting and decorate as desired. Refrigerate until ready to serve, and refrigerate any leftovers.





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Hello! I'm Linda. This is where I share my hobbies. Thank you for being here!

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