Signs you need to step away from the books and your bed...

by - 1:46 PM

Today marks the first in a series I am going to tag as graduate school problems.  Some of these things may or may not have been learned through personal experience.  Gosh, I really, really love graduate school...seriously....but some weekends, I feel like I only leave my bed for nourishment.  Wasting time going to the bathroom is for suckers...goodbye kidneys!  Without further adue, here are some signs that you graduate students need to step away from from the books and your bed (which is where I study):

1.  You feel a bump on your cheek and worry you have some sort of weird Ebolla-Enterovirus mutant growth.  Don't be alarmed.  It's just nutella.

2.  You wake up in the middle of the night with a buzzing in your ear and immediately start to run through a list of things that could possible be going wrong in your ear.  Is it infection?  A ruptured ear drum?  Of course not.  It's just a flying ant that decided to enter your ear and remodel it for its future biting...and thrashing.  Please do not anger it but pouring stuff in your ear.  Run, don't walk, to the nearest ER.  Later discover from doctor boyfriend that you could've killed it by pouring mineral oil in your ear and then calmly flushing it out with warm water.  AIN'T NOBODY DOING NOTHING CALMLY WHEN THERE'S AN ANT TRYING TO CHEW ITS WAY INTO YOUR BRAIN!!

3.  Your dogs have become so lethargic that a five minute walk around the block (because that's all the cardio you have time and lung capacity for) leaves them panting and you pulling on a leash.  An immediate nap and five glasses of water will rectify the trauma of this unprecedented exercise.  Bacon bits also help soften the blow.

4.  You have more pictures of yourself laying on different pieces of furniture with your dogs while studying than you have of the outside world.

5.  Blinking hard when you finally leave your dark room in the mornings for class is also not a good sign.  That gorgeous pasty body brings some serious sexy to the clinic setting.  You might as well hiss like a vampire when you leave your house.

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