As I was driving to school the other day minding my own business, I drove past the fire station, which is something I do every day.  On this magical morning, about twenty firemen were out...exercising...so I did what every warm blooded female instinctively does....


I slowed down my vehicle, put on some sunglasses and pretended not to be a creep....


I swear this is what I saw...or thought I saw...somehow I feel like genetics predisposes me to crazy every time I see a man in a uniform...Raise your hand if you feel the same?  ...don't lie...you know you do.

...and then I almost rear-ended the car in front of me....Can't a woman ogle creepily from a safe and legal distance in peace?!

Fast forward a coupe of days.  I actually saw some of said firemen up close while at the grocery store.  It turns out what I actually saw was something more like this:


It's a sad day when you realize you were about to stalk an entire unit of firefighters that don't even look the way you remember them.  Sigh.  Stupid female programming....News of this does not reach my boyfriend, capisce??

...that awkward moment when you've used your monthly contacts for three months and your eyes are so irritated and red you think your eyes are going to swell shut but you can't take them out because it's not socially acceptable to walk up to people and touch their faces for identification....and a stranger on the sidewalk smiles at you and says "420 much?"


Well.  I.  Never.