err...or lack thereof....

I was sitting here, writing about 300 patient notes (feels like it), and decided to write an inspirational post about time management....It would have gone something like this:

1.  Write a list of things to do.
2.  Start sweating at the length of list.
3.  Throw list in trash and set it on fire.
4.  Open blogger and look at pretty things.

So, no.  I am not the person to lecture you on how to spend your time wisely.  Google it.  There are plenty of people online giving you step by step guides on how to work militantly for the rest of your life.

This little pygmy woman is here to tell you, as a person who has worked her little bum off for her first 30 years, that life is about the moments when you don't have a list.  And so, this really turned into "The Procrastinator's Guide to Living Vicariously Stressfully".

1.  Own lots of dogs.  It's good for the heart and soul.  Hoards of them.  Call them your herd.  Assert your dominance where ever you go by having your pack pee on everything.  Don't get invited back.  Whatever.  That's my house now, and you know it.

2.  Postpone your work until the last minute.  If you can take anything from this post, let it be this: You get a mad rush of adrenaline by turning in your assignment due at midnight at 11:59:59.  Those shaking hands, that's living baby!

3.  Don't sleep.  I mean it.  So your joints hurt, you can't think clearly, and you feel like death, so what?  Think of all those suckers wasting all the time sleeping, when they could be watching Netflix.  Let's face it.  You're not going to be able to concentrate on boring stuff like numbers, words, reading and such with that killer headache and that new season of Stranger Things isn't going to watch itself in one day.

4.  Or sleep a lot.  Whoa baby!  Exercise to make that beach body deadline?  Nope.  Sleep my precious.  Sleep fourteen hours a day.  Think of all the wrinkles you won't get and all the calories you won't eat.  Once you're a week off from having to wear that bikini, cry a lot, buy a cover-up and pretend it never happened, stressfully of course.

Now let's go kick 2018's ass...or there's always 2019.  I'm going to take a nap.  Welcome back everybody.