Dress:  Forever 21

Boots:  Gifted

I wore this exact outfit to Central Market a couple of weeks ago, and a sweet woman asked me where I had gotten my boots because she liked them so much.  Excited, I quickly told my boyfriend when he came back from grinding some coffee for me.  He asked, "Those boots, really?!" How rude.  He's lucky he is such a sweetheart.  The man brings me coffee in bed to wake me up on weekends for Heaven's sake.  I was still tempted to walk around Central Market just so I could find a table to flip over, but all the tables were normal-sized, and I would have had to ask him for help to flip one over.

This brings me to my next point.  My mother always told me to take from fashion what was most flattering for me.  Just because something is in style or expensive does not mean it will work for your body type.  I believe this applies to people as well.  Sometimes someone may look great on paper and have a terrible effect on your self-confidence and happiness.

This is the season for giving and as the year closes, I always like to do a mental inventory of the way I treated and was treated by the people that matter to me.  I can't say that I am a saint, but I do try to be better, apologize first, be angry less even though I may not always be successful. 

I used to have a best friend that I loved very much, so much that when this person abandoned me in a fit of rage at a dessert restaurant one evening because he had not wanted to go there in the first place, I quickly forgave him even though I had to walk home at night with another friend.  He never apologized of course.  He also never apologized for telling me I was not good enough to date certain people, making me constantly feel ugly, and giving me a speech about how when I moved away from our city he was going to stop trying to maintain our friendship because it was not worth it. 

The final straw came when he came to visit me along with another friend.  He had asked me to proof read his thesis paper for him, but when he arrived, he had not even begun to write it.  I basically wrote the ten page paper for him in two days, and when he finally came out of the apartment to do some of the activities my other best friend and I had meticulously planned for weeks, he kept complaining about how boring everything was and how terrible it was to be sober for the first time in almost a year.  Great.  Perfect.

I stopped trying as hard to keep in contact with him after this.  I realized I was beating a dead horse with a stick.  For my birthday, my other best friend wrangled him into calling me.  I was in the bathroom when he called so I missed the phone call, and upon calling him back, was basically broken up with.  On my birthday.  By my best friend.  

My only regret is having wasted time being diminished by someone that clearly was not a right fit for me.  I am not attracted by the club/bar scene mainly because I don't drink.  On Monday I do go to a bar...to play board games.  Really nerdy ones where you defeat demons with potions or build houses by selling sheep...and I have a blast.  THERE.  I SAID IT.

I wish I could say I wish him the best, but honestly, I am indifferent.  I can say for a brief moment of time, I had the naive mentality that everyone has something beautiful inside of them that you can learn and grow from as a person, if you take the time to look for it, but I am starting to believe that this may not always be the case.  Some people will be mean to you, no matter how kind you are to them.  This is not to say that I have shut my heart down from the world but I definitely evaluate more, trust blindly a little less.

In this season, shower those that you love with gifts and kindness.  It is those that stay loyally at your side even at your ugliest and lowest that are the real gifts and gosh darn it I am going to bake up a storm to show them how much I love them.  Thank God for elastic waist bands!