May I suggest that anyone who is a couch potato not attempt a difficult 5K race that is filled with obstacles before they actually are able to run maybe for one mile...

This was our little racing team.  My older sister intelligently chickened out at the last minute, but Gloria managed to convince me that it would get warmer as the day went by and the obstacles would not be all that difficult.  SHE LIED!  When we left the house, it was 50 degrees outside.  At the time of the race, it was 44 degrees.  With no pants.  NO. PANTS.

We were given scarves that I attempted to tie around my head a la Rosie the Riveter but did not achieve quite the same effect.  Let's face it, she had Photoshop and a giant dose of pretty.  She cheated.

...and so the race began...

This sucker almost took me down.  When it was my turn to attempt it, I reached the very top and just hugged it for dear life.  My arms were shaking so hard, probably from the cold, but mostly I was just pumped full of Spartan adrenaline fear.  I began to plan my reverse route.  Momma didn't raise no fool.  There was no rope on the other side and no amount of CPR can bring you back when you break all your bones.  Luckily, a kind woman, whose head kept making contact with my booty as I attempted to scale back down, started to calm me down by telling me that I was doing so well, and I was so close to the finish line.  Two miles and four obstacles later, I would come to find that she lied to me.  To be fair, if someone kept making butt to face contact with me, I probably would have done the same.

The final obstacle was a giant water slide.  I ended up with seaweed everywhere, even in my shoes and underpants.  How they got in there is still a mystery to me.  I felt like a champion until I realized that I could not feel my legs.  Seriously.  Off we ran to the car where I saw a nude man changing out of his wet clothes.  Luckily, he offered to take our group picture after some initial awkwardness.

Overall, I had a lot of fun.  For most of the weekend (except for my Halloween excursion), I basically hibernated.  My body did not seem to enjoy the race as much as I did.  Will I do a race like this again?  Maybe.  Probably.  Definitely not in the winter again.